I was talking to my boss E.... today and we were discussing the fact that people's roles (male and female) have become distorted and as a result everyone is unhappy. Men are not able to be men anymore and women still want to be looked after or at least feel that their men are strong, so that they feel protected, whether emotionally or whatever. The lines of equality being drawn, it now seems chicken to step back behind them so that you can have peace at home.
I have this horrible conflict raging all the time. I want to be independent and have a career and children and a happy family life and a nice house and most of all someone to share this with. Notice that I put that last but made up for it by using 'most of all'. E.... is dynamic and high functioning and at a very young age, becoming a force to be reckoned with in the London business world. Her own father, who works in the same industry and has always been a strong supporter of women in business, said to her recently that he was proud of her and what she has achieved, but would not want to be married to her because he would find it too uncomfortable.(and not just for the obvious reasons!!)
Her last boyfriend couldn't handle it, even though he knew what he was getting into from the beginning. So what do you do?
Do you assign his and hers roles so that you each get to be 'The Leader' in some aspect of your combined life?
Do you play soft for the man who wont accept your strengths?
Am I just being difficult?
I have been accused of being too hard by boyfriends and male colleges. If I was a man they wouldn't even have blinked. I'm only too hard for them because I'm a girl being hard. And what exactly constitutes 'hard'?
How do you re-balance something so out of whack? Was it ever balanced to start with? No, I guess not.
This is me, shaking my tiny fist at it all.